It's interesting how old patterns reassert themselves. Once again, on the first day of walking, I'm placing unnecessary and unwelcome pressure on myself.
I did it on the first day at 90 Mile Beach just over three weeks' ago and now I'm doing it again.
I'm walking too fast. I feel stiff and clumsy. I'm missing the journey.
It's all about performance anxiety.
You must walk thirty kilometres a day.
You must prove to Rosa that you can complete the trail in about 100 days.
You must reach the Russell Forest tonight.
You must look good. You must make it look easy. You must do it right. You must be a game-changer.
A negative mantra rings inside my head. "You must!", "You must!", "You must!"
How silly is that?
My hypnotherapy teacher, David Newton, said, "We always perform at our best in front of others."
He's right. Even a depressed person can lighten up for a while at a party. Even a tired, wet and hungry tramper will push deeper and go further in the company of others.
However, I'm not in front of other people. I only have to perform for myself.
David also said, "We need a little anxiety to perform at our best."
However, too much anxiety lessens performance instead of increases it.
So, ask yourself, "How do I want to perform?"
I want to give a great performance of effortless relaxation.
I want to be injury-free.
I want to take some great photographs.
I want to camp tonight and say, "Wow! What an incredible day!"
Break the pattern.